For the Love of a God
by Arluen
Summary: The gala in Stuttgart, Germany is a little more fateful than Loki originally anticipated. He finds he cannot get thoughts of the intriguing woman he meets there out of his head- a woman who inspires him to question who he has become and whether or not he might one day become a man worthy to stand before her and call himself a prince of Asgard. *Marvel film canon*
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: *I do not own anything recognizable as belonging to Marvel.* The standard warnings apply. That being said, while this does function within the existing canon stories of The Avengers and eventually Thor/Thor 2, it is an independent story. I hope I do justice to the characters and I do appreciate critique and reviews. I will tell you now so I don't get bombarded about it later- THIS WILL NOT RECEIVE REGULAR UPDATES! I will be waiting to add too much more until Thor 2 comes out in November, so I'm afraid that if you find you do like it you will have to wait for gratification. Enjoy!

Dr. Adrienne Emelia Hawthorne scowled in disgust at the people moving about the hall of the museum she was standing in. It made no sense to her to host a fundraiser for a hospital in a museum, but she could admit that it was a beautiful building. The granite walls and white marble floors were a stunning backdrop for the wealth of colorful silks and jewels adorning the guests- members of the elite, the rich and powerful. Off in some corner a string quartet played, and any other night she would have surrendered to the calming effect of the music. Great columns reached to the floor of the gallery that ran all the way around the second floor of the hall. If you cared to look, you would find stained glass windows depicting great thrones from centuries past set into the walls off the main hall. At the back of the hall was a massive marble staircase that wound up to the gallery to both the left and right. Adrienne had tried to hide in its shadow earlier in the night, but she was pulled back out onto the floor to mingle. Presently she was back in the shadow of the staircase, partially hidden in a corner.

She did not attend this soirée willingly, no matter how much she enjoyed having an occasion to get dressed up. If Matthew and Sarah, partners and financial directors of her charity, hadn't directly threatened her with forced vacation time outside of Mali, she would not be suffering the foolish men who kept attempting to flirt with her. For some reason they seemed to have it in their heads that she was available for the taking, and that their money somehow made them a great catch. She had fallen for that routine once before, but never would again. Her scowl deepened as she took a swig of her champagne, all the while wishing it was something stronger. She spent the entirety of these stupid events fending off would-be suitors even as she tried to persuade them to donate their money to her work. It was despicable how low these men thought she was.

She knew perfectly well that for many of these people, this was no more than an event at which to see and be seen- both in fashion and in a vain attempt to make people think they were charitable. It was all a show; one she detested. Glancing to the right, she saw Dr. Heinrich Schäfer ambling up next to her. He was the guest speaker and an old friend. The man was aging, but he still had that spark of life about him- the one that had saved her- that was difficult to ignore.

"Your displeasure begins to show on your face. Don't hate them too much, my dear. They do not understand their own stupidity." His English was very good, accented though it was. She smirked as he handed her a flask he had hidden in his jacket. She poured the amber liquid into her now empty champagne flute before returning it. The liquid was fire down her throat- good Scottish whiskey. Adrienne glanced over at him. At 5'10" he would have normally stood a good deal taller than her- a few inches at least. Tonight, the added height from her massive shoes, made them nearly matched.

"I know. Sometimes the ones who are truly generous and kind make up for the others, but you know how very much I dislike these events. There are too many people, and too many false smiles. I would rather be home with my kids."

"I know, and you will be soon. Sarah has them?" Adrienne nodded. Matthew had accompanied her to Germany while Sarah remained in Mali to watch the kids and keep the hospital running smoothly. "I'm going to be giving my speech in a half hour, then you can slip away. It will be our secret." She genuinely smiled at him and laughed at his conspiratorial grin. He had been a mentor to her at one point in her life; an indispensable and very necessary helping hand when life had decided to kick her ass. She knew she could never repay him for all of his kindness toward her and her kids.

"Tell Petra I said hello, and that I will visit her next time I am in Germany. Alec and Julianne send their love. They miss you both." They both knew it would be a long time before that happened, but he nodded anyway and gave her messages for the children before he strode back into the crowd, leaving her alone in her corner once again.

Loki looked down upon the people in the hall below with utter disdain. _Look at them all. They've no idea how pitiable they are._ He caught sight of his target in a corner on the far side of the hall. Dr. Schäfer was speaking to a woman who stood half in the shadows, as though she tried to hide. What he could see of her told him she looked nearly as miserable as Loki himself felt. Oh yes, some part of him was gleeful at the chaos he was about to stir up, but another part truly hated these people his once-brother fought so hard to protect. Loki sneered at that thought. Soon Thor would be in as much pain as he, and then his once-brother would begin to understand just the tip of the betrayal he and the Allfather had played.

Loki was distracted from his dark thoughts as he heard part of what the man was saying. His senses were far better than those of these tiny Midgardians, making his position on the gallery overlooking the hall an advantage. He smirked. _Just 30 more minutes,_ he thought gleefully. Loki was distracted again, this time by the woman. She had smiled at something Dr. Schäfer had said, Loki didn't know what, so caught up was he in thoughts of his plans. Her following peal of laughter rose above the din of the hall and sent a disturbing rush of blood to his groin.

She was already rather pretty, he was forced to admit. For a Midgardian, at least. But this smile, so open, so obviously joyful, it made her quite near to stunningly beautiful. This observation more than a little unnerved the God of Mischief, almost as much as the increasing discomfort of his trousers. He inspected her more closely. The woman cut a fine figure in the black gown she wore, the material hugging her curves in all the right places, and flowing to the ground in a soft cascade of satin. Her hair was a strange color he had never seen before. It seemed to be comprised diverse strands of the lightest of blondes, richest of reds, and darkest of blacks. It was piled atop her head in some sort of plait. He could tell that there was quite a lot of it, but wondered just how far down her back it fell. It was a bit unusual when so many of these so-called "modern women" cut it all off. Her features, so unlike those on any Midgardian he had ever seen, made him wonder if this woman was not from another realm- Álfheimr perhaps- or mayhap one of her ancestors was. Her high cheekbones and arched brows certainly spoke to that of the light elves, as did her blemish-less alabaster skin that was very near as pale as his own, but not so pallid, he thought. Her eyes were almond shaped, though he could not tell the color from where he stood. They glinted with an intelligence and keen sense of observation as they darted about the hall that he saw in so very few mortals.

It disturbed Loki to think he might find this woman so beautiful, particularly if she was one of these lowly mortals. He tried to shake off the unnerving and unexpected feelings as he forced his gaze back to his target, who was presently meandering back into the throng of people in the hall, leaving the woman alone in the corner. He shook his head. She was of no importance to his plans, and thus of no importance at all.

Loki was once again distracted from his task a few minutes later by the woman, who was presently moving out of her corner in the shadow of the staircase, seemingly to get away from the men who had accosted her there. He moved around the gallery to the balcony overlooking the staircase. She ascended the curving marble with all the fury and grace of the Valkyries flying over a battlefield. Her gown swirled about her legs and blew back behind her- mysteriously reminding him of black ink flowing through water- as it revealed a slit on the left side that had been hidden when she stood still. Now though, it exposed every exquisite inch of skin and well defined muscle on her left leg.

Loki could do nothing but stare in stunned silence. He numbly realized he was acting like a fresh-faced youth gazing at a woman for the first time, but he could not take his eyes off of her. She reached the gallery at the top of the stairs and froze before him, a startled expression on her face. She was beautiful before, but up close, she was a vision of perfection and power. He realized then that she was not as tall as she had appeared next to Dr. Schäfer, for her shoes easily added 3 or 4 inches to her height. _She could impale me with those shoes, _he thought morosely. They looked deadly, sporting tiny little straps that held them to her feet and heels thin as the blades of his knives she could topple off of any moment.

Her eyes, which were lined in kohl and covered in some kind of coppery sparkles, ensnared him and held him firmly rooted to the spot. Set widely in her heart-shaped face, they were the most alluring design- like the sun or a star had been captured within each one and was surrounded by blue sky. So wide and expressive, they drew him in until he thought he might drown in their depths. He balked. This was not how a prince, no, a king should behave! _She must have some magic she is using to put these thoughts in my head,_ he thought desperately, and was suddenly furious. _Someone has discovered my plans! Well, you won't stop me just yet, whoever you are,_ he thought as a devilish grin snaked its way across his lips.

Adrienne had had enough! Another guy had just crept into her corner in an effort to get her to go home with him. She didn't know what it was about her that drew them like moths to a flame, but she wasn't going to stand for it any more tonight. She made for the staircase leading up to the gallery above. _It will be quiet up there,_ she thought. _It's not like I'm really hiding. I'll be back down before Heinrich's speech._ She shrugged as she started to ascend the stairs, being careful to not step on the front of her dress. She glanced up as she reached the landing and froze. Standing there was the most beautiful Adonis of a man she had ever seen. He wore a tuxedo of an older cut, almost Victorian, which fit him to absolute perfection, highlighting the long, powerful muscle beneath. He was remarkably tall and lean, not at all bulky, but the muscle and power were shown in the way he held his body, filling out his suit with startling ease.

She took him in, working her way up from his expensive leather shoes. It was obvious the man was rich by the fine clothes he wore, but his green silk scarf embroidered in fine gold thread, and gold walking stick with a massive blue gem would have driven home the point anyway. His hands were slim and delicate, with the long fingers of a pianist, but he held them in such a way as to make it obvious they concealed just as much power as the rest of him. It practically rolled off him in waves. He was, she mused, a man out of another time.

His face was, of course, remarkably fair, almost to the point where she would call him beautiful. He had high cheekbones that could have been cut from the same marble as the floor, and dark brows that arched both harshly and gracefully over the most exquisite and curiously colored eyes she had ever seen. They were of such a shade that she continuously wondered if they were blue or green. His hair was a lush black that fell to his collar and curled away from it. Adrienne had the urge to run her fingers through it to see if it was really as soft as it looked. _Too bad he's got it gelled back from his face, _she thought rather suddenly, then admonished herself for the thought. This was just the sort of man she had been trying to avoid all night. _But he's nothing like those idiots, is he Adrienne,_ the darker part of her mind whispered. No he wasn't, he was dangerous, but she was not about to admit it.

She shivered involuntarily. This man stirred up a heat inside her that no man had touched in a very long time. She felt like there were little flames running all over her body beneath over-sensitive flesh. She was quite sure if he had come on to her like so many of the other men this evening had, she would have welcomed his advances instead of scorning them. A suspiciously quiet part of her mind reminded her why she didn't like men like him- gorgeous men who knew a single twist of their beautiful mouths could fell a woman across a room; men with too much arrogance and ego- but she could not look away.

It took her a moment, but after she recovered from her shock, she wondered why he hadn't moved. It was then that she realized those beautiful eyes were doing exactly the same thing to her she had been doing to him, and he was still looking. His heated gaze made her feel as though she was being undressed with nothing but his eyes roving over her body. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant feeling.

Adrienne knew the moment he recovered from whatever had held him so still, and she was afraid of the predatory glint she saw in his eyes, suddenly as sharp as cut sapphires. She started to take a step back down the stairs before she remembered her dress and nearly lost her footing as the heel of her shoe was caught in the satin. She gripped the banister as he drew near to her, completely invading her personal space and trapping her against the balcony above the stairs.

"You may tell whoever sent you, little one, that they are too late to stop my plans for this night." His words sent a chill down her spine for reasons Adrienne could not consciously articulate. His voice was like velvet, but the threat implicit in his words swiftly squashed her burgeoning attraction for the man, replacing it with fear and anger, and the anger was rapidly becoming dominant. She had no idea who this man was, but he was clearly an arrogant and egotistical fool, touched repeatedly, she thought, with the crazy stick. Adrienne had had enough for one night; that's why she was headed up-stairs in the first place, she remembered. She didn't have to listen to this shit from another stupid rich boy.

Adrienne smacked him hard across his beautiful face then shoved him away from her, a little concerned when he only took two small steps back, a look of complete and utter shock on his face. _Bet you've never had that happen, have you,_ she thought smugly. Adrienne pulled herself up to her full height, squaring her shoulders and taking advantage of every extra centimeter her shoes gave her. She still had to crane her neck to look him in the eye as she stepped forward, now invading his personal space. _This guy is a freaking giant,_ she thought wondrously.

"I don't know who you are, and I don't know who you seem to think I am, but I do hope you enjoy the rest of my party, albeit as far from me as you can possibly find yourself," she said to him, letting equal parts steel and syrupy sugar leak into her voice. "I would however give you a piece of advice for attending events in the future. Next time, don't make it a point to insult and threaten the host. You may find you are no longer welcome." She sauntered past him with as much grace and dignity as she could muster, knowing all the while her words were not what she should have said, but she was beyond caring. So help her God, if he followed her she would not be responsible for her actions.

Loki was absolutely floored. In all of his centuries of life he had not encountered this reaction from a woman. He'd been struck by the Lady Sif, but she was a warrior and he knew he deserved her ire. This was wholly different. He briefly wondered if he had mistaken her purpose here tonight, then discarded the idea. It still took him a minute to recover enough of his wits to go after her. Loki schooled his features into something resembling remorse, though it was difficult as it was not an emotion he was naturally inclined towards. He grabbed her wrist forcing her to stop. Her skin was as soft as it looked and rather cool to the touch. Another shot of desire wormed its way to his groin, momentarily throwing him off balance. She turned so fast he almost didn't catch her other hand before she slapped him again. He smiled a small smile that barely touched his lips as she struggled to get away from him.

"Release me," she hissed.

"Are you going to attempt to strike me again?" he purred. Fury flared in the depths of her eyes and she struggled a little more before he pulled her flush against his body, twisting one arm behind her back to hold her still, pressing her curves into him with the added pressure of his cane angled across her back. A hint of her subtle perfume wafted past his nose and he almost released her as he reveled in the sweet smell. This one was going to be a problem.

For a moment, Loki thought she had conceded control, but that thought rapidly left him as the wicked spike of her shoe connected with his left instep. This time he did release her as he hissed in pain, but only long enough for her to take a few steps back. He still had a firm grip around her left wrist.

"While I admire your spirit, that, my dear, was not wise." Even as she fought him and caused him pain, Loki found this woman to be far too arousing for his peace of mind, not that he had that much to begin with.

Adrienne nearly growled. She was beyond pissed off. This man had gone far further than any other; this could probably be called assault. She wondered why she didn't scream for help, but part of her, a part she wanted very strongly to kick into silence, wanted to show him she was strong enough to take care of herself. She knew from experience that no matter what they said, men did not like strong, independent women.

She knew he was aroused, had no doubts what had pressed against her belly when he pulled her close. She wondered how far he would go, and it was to her endless mortification that despite these thoughts and his behavior, Adrienne was also very aroused, almost painfully so. Unlike him though, she had no intention of giving in to her desire. It warred with her sense of self-preservation, particularly at his foreboding words.

"I don't give a damn what you admire," she hissed back at him. "Release me, before I call security to throw you out." She stood as tall and imperious as she could considering he was at least four inches taller than her, and that was in her massive heels.

"You should. I can make your life very miserable. Or, I could make it very short. I'm sure S.H.I.E.L.D. won't miss you if you get caught by your target so easily." To her surprise he did release her, despite what she belatedly realized was a threat to either torture or kill her. She massaged her wrist where she knew a bruise would form. It was probably a small miracle it wasn't broken.

"You are batshit crazy, you know that? I have no idea what the hell you think is going on here, but I think you need to find your way back to whatever psych ward you came from." He laughed at her! He actually laughed at her. "What the hell are you laughing at?" she fumed.

"Tell me, out of idle curiosity, what is your cover? Who are you pretending to be?" She just stared at him. There was no way this gorgeous, super-model of a man was so far gone as to think she was some sort of spy. She groaned and took a few steps backwards, running her hand across her forehead.

"That's just my luck isn't it? You really can pick 'em, Adri," she muttered to herself.

"You do feign ignorance well," he drawled, seemingly bored.

"That might be because I'm not feigning anything," she bit back venomously. "Who the hell are you?" Adrienne demanded, completely exasperated. She took a few more steps backward toward the gallery railing, totally forgetting about the back of her dress and having to catch herself on the rail when she tripped.

"Ha! As if you didn't know. Well, little one, if you insist on this charade, I'll play along. I do love games." He took a step toward her and bowed in a mockery of regality that spoke to ingrained training on how to do it right. "I am Loki, formerly of Asgard." Now it was her turn to laugh. She knew it infuriated him, but the expression of self-righteous indignation on his face just made her laugh harder.

"You must truly be out of your mind if you think I'd believe that." She wiped tears of mirth off her cheeks, careful not to smudge her eyeliner and mascara. "Thank you for the laugh though."

"Why, foolish mortal, might that be?" That question brought on a fresh wave of laughter. Adrienne finally brought herself under control after he took a few steps closer to her, raising his walking stick. He might be crazy, but in her book that just made him more dangerous.

"As a child, I too was quite fond of the myths of the Gods and the nine realms, but that is what they are, stories. Hell, I read them to my children as bedtime stories, but I have not believed in them for many years." Now she saw a hint of amusement in his gaze. Amusement and something she could not identify. He drew near and leaned against the railing a few feet away from her, and this time she didn't move away, crazy as that made her.

"Who are you?" He asked simply, that same unidentifiable emotion rolling around in his gaze as he searched her face. For what, she didn't know. Adrienne shrugged and held out her hand after a moment.

"Dr. Adrienne Hawthorne- surgeon, charity worker, and apparently attractor of crazy men." He stared at her hand a moment before taking it and raising it to his lips, a challenge in his gaze. She held it, but pulled her hand back quickly after he released it. Now that she wasn't being manhandled, she found his hands to be soft and warm. She enjoyed them touching her way too much for the sake of comfort or propriety. _Who's going to see you Adrienne?_ "Are you going to tell me who you really are?" He gave her that smirk again.

"I already have."

Adrienne rolled her eyes to the ceiling in a confusing, but amusing, gesture. Or so Loki thought. _Adrienne. Such a beautiful name, and with such a meaning,_ he thought idly. _I wonder if you will live up to it. _He had be loath to release her, but had to admit to himself it was wise to do so, if also a little selfish. Her touch did too many things to him, made him feel as though he was losing control. The simple fact that she made him feel at all was enough to bother him. At the same time, though he knew he could deter anyone who came at her call, he wanted her all to himself.

Loki was amused by her statement. She claimed not to believe in these "stories," and yet here she stood, talking to a god. The irony was not lost on him, but he did once again question the existence of intelligence in this realm. He was curious about what she had said about children- _her_ children. He filed that away for later contemplation and use.

"You believe I lie about my identity," he responded, a mischievous smirk playing at the corners of his lips. She rolled her eyes to the ceiling again. _What is it she seeks up there?_ he wondered.

"I believe, if that is who you believe you are, you really do need a referral to a psych ward, and really? I'm not that kind of doctor." The corner of her mouth lifted in the smallest of smiles as she glanced at him. He was slightly amused at her reference, and the thought of displaying his power to her brought a small answering smile to his face, but decided that would spoil the events of the evening, and he could not afford to have them interrupted. The Titan would certainly not be pleased if the Teseract could not maintain a stable bridge as the Chitauri came to Midgard. Besides, he was quite enjoying this game. He shrugged a shoulder in a motion that could only be described as elegant.

"Perhaps, or perhaps I merely do not yet wish my identity to be revealed." He let her mull that over, wondering if she saw the hint of truth manipulating the statement, then he continued on a different trail of conversation. "You mentioned this was your party," he hedged. He knew perfectly well who was hosting this event, so he was curious why he couldn't read a lie in her previous statement. She startled and grimaced. Perhaps she knows I have caught her in a lie. Loki did not expect her words nor the clear ring of truth they had.

"You could say that. My friend, Dr. Heinrich Schäfer, is hosting the event. He's the guest speaker as well, but the fundraiser is for my charity." She crossed her arms and scowled down at the people in the hall below. To him, she looked proud and displayed as much regality as he might expect from his mother, or perhaps his aunt, Frejya, both queens of great realms. Even in her displeasure she displayed power and courage. He did not know how to respond to her words however.

"I take it you do not enjoy these events." She rolled her eyes. Clearly it was a motion she did often, though he still could not fathom its meaning.

"Ha! I appreciate the funds and the small number of people who actually care about the work we do in Mali, but most of these people, as I'm sure you are well aware," she looked at him pointedly, "are not here because they care. They seem to be under the… misguided impression that women who run charities are so desperate for money they'll go home with any rich boy with a checkbook." She raised her brows at him sardonically and he had the uncomfortable impression she was referring to the incident a few minutes before. For some reason, that bothered him more than he thought it should. He didn't like the idea that she associated him with the mortal men who had accosted her earlier in the evening. He was sure she was a spy, if not for S.H.I.E.L.D., then for one of his immortal enemies, for she certainly had magic aplenty. Loki could not however hear even a hint of a lie in her words- not even one of omission. He began to internally panic, scouring the hall for any hint of Asgard or S.H.I.E.L.D. and found none. It was difficult to believe his judgment had erred so far, but he could find no reasonable alternative; he was mistaken about this woman's identity. Grasping at anything he could, Loki asked about the only connection he was positive about- she knew his target.

"You are acquainted with our host and speaker. His speech will be soon, will it not?" There was that smile again. It transformed her face and drove-out all ability for him to form coherent thought as another pang of desire knifed its way through him to his groin. Loki frowned and tried to brush it away, a sinking feeling growing in the pit of his stomach. He had no idea how anyone could have known he would be here tonight since he himself did not know until today, but this had to be the connection that eluded him.

"Yes, Heinrich and I are old friends. His company is a partner in the hospital and the single largest financial contributor. Sometimes I think tonight, hosting this in Germany was a ploy for him to get me to visit. These days I only leave Mali when I have no other choice. He and Petra miss us, I know." Loki was surprised by both her words and the curious wondering look she gave him. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. Especially not after what happened earlier. It's so strange." She looked at him a moment longer then glanced away, a blush coloring her cheeks. He wondered if she wasn't as calm and collected as she appeared on the outside, but decided that while it pleased a part of his brain that didn't deserve acknowledgment, it was as it should be. He was after all a God. His hand twitched up to touch her again before he realized what he was doing and wrenched his gaze away from her. Before he could take his leave however, she turned to face him fully and inclined her head.

"As much as I thank you for taking my mind off the people down there, I must return. Heinrich will be giving his speech soon, and it would be bad form for the guest of honor to miss it." She smiled slightly and turned toward the stairs leaving him looking after her in confusion. "Enjoy the rest of your night, whoever you are," she said before descending the stairs, the smile in her voice easily heard.

"Beware that you may live in interesting times," he whispered, paraphrasing the old mortal saying, and it was as much a promise as a lament. Either she didn't hear or she chose not to since she kept walking. "Who are you, Adrienne?" Loki asked himself as he turned back to look down on the hall. For one second, just one, he almost regretted the chaos he was about to stir up. He didn't want to see the fear in her eyes when she looked upon him, its creator. The walking stick in his hands grew painfully hot, the Titan's fury seeping into his mind, pushing everything else aside. His gaze hardened on his target at the podium below him. He was Loki, rightful king of Asgard, and he had an eyeball to retrieve.

Adrienne had no way of knowing what had started out as a miserable night at a fundraiser in Stuttgart, Germany was about to become very interesting, and that the chance meeting she just had would shape the events of her future for a long time to come.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Loki smirked. His plans were coming together quite nicely. The Hawk had the material from the lab, and Loki was right in the middle of his enemies' forces. He thought it incredibly comical that they thought to hold him in this pitiful vessel. He only needed to stay in this cage a little while longer, a cage not even meant for him. Soon, the Hawk would be there and the next stage of his plan would begin. His once-brother and his allies would soon be unable to step in his way, mere pawns in a game much larger than they could imagine. They would be scattered to the winds before they knew it. Just another day, and all his patience and careful planning would pay off. Now, with nothing better to do, Loki decided he would take a nap. Much to his chagrin, his dreams were filled with visions of a woman with the most curious hair and expressive, hate-filled eyes. _Who are you Adrienne?_

Adrienne sat numbly in the hospital room belonging to her dear friend Dr. Heinrich Schäfer, the events from three nights ago playing through her mind on repeat like a demented film. She could neither turn them off nor fast-forward through the horror she had witnessed. It was nothing short of a miracle, she supposed, that Heinrich had survived the event at his age. Still, it didn't change the fact that he was going to be at least partially blind, and she was going insane.

After she had come down from the gallery, she had proceeded to the dais where Heinrich was giving his speech about the charity and the work the hospital was doing. Then all hell broke loose. In the middle of it all, that strange man she had met on the gallery, Loki, came striding up, his face completely expressionless. He used that horrible walking stick to attack the security that tried to stop him, then he took Heinrich, the poor man, and hauled him down onto the sculpture in the middle of the hall, flipping him completely over it with an ease that should not have been possible for a man his size. In that moment she could almost believe he was the God he claimed to be.

The next part was what she wanted so desperately to forget. He had taken some sort of device and attached it to Heinrich's left eye. By the time he had gone, and Adrienne had made it to her friend through the throngs of scattering people, his eye was little more than a gelatinous mess. He was in shock, but she was able to stop some of the bleeding with his jacket, which took longer to get off him than she would have liked. As much as it disturbed and hurt her to hear his cries of pain, she kept him awake until the paramedics arrived and took over. She knew they could barely understand her German through her tears, but she couldn't control them.

She had caught sight of the madman as he left the hall, and decided she had either lost her mind, or the reality she knew needed to be thrown out the window. The man shimmered with gold light as he walked, his tuxedo replaced by some kind of green and black leather outfit with gold armor and a green cape that looked very medieval. His gold walking stick was replaced by a long spear that was headed with a nasty looking curved blade inset with a blue gem that mirrored the one in the stick. A gold helmet with massive horns curving above it covered his head. This could not be that same gorgeous and dangerous man she had seen just moments before in a tuxedo. Her mind fought what she had seen, but she remembered their altercation in the gallery. He had exuded such power and strength, arrogance and ego, threats- Adrienne had to admit she may have been very wrong about those myths. It was like those extra details clicked into place and her whole world shifted on its axis. She was adrift in a sea of hope and possibility, but there was also a driving, paralyzing fear as she realized that she had just insulted a God.

As she and the paramedics loaded Heinrich into the ambulance, Adrienne saw Loki again. He was seated in profile on the steps leading down into the square with his hands raised in surrender. His helmet and cape were gone and the spear was laying on the ground a few meters away. Before him stood two men- one in a suit of red and gold armor that covered his whole body, and one in some sort of red, white, and blue costume with a shield. An aircraft was landing behind them. He turned to look at her suddenly, a devilish and wicked grin twisting his face into something dark and frightening, but it didn't reach his eyes. They were now definitely blue and seemed to glow as though they were lit from inside. She shuddered and got into the ambulance, closing the door rapidly behind her. Not matter how hard she tried, she couldn't push him from her mind.

Adrienne had since learned that the device had been used to take some kind of a real-time, 3D image of Heinrich's eye so that some partners of the crazy man- she refused to even think his name- could break into his lab and steal some kind of rare metal sample. It all seemed so stupid to her, but then again, she hadn't had much faith in humanity since before Heinrich had pulled her back from the edge. She still didn't know who these people were, but she didn't care, as long as they were caught and punished for what they'd done. She didn't hold out much hope of that happening, but it's what she wanted.

Adrienne winced as she got up from her chair, her stiff joints screaming in protest at every motion. She walked down the hall to the vending machine, nodding to the nurses as she passed. She needed coffee, badly, if she was going to keep going like this. She knew she had to sleep at some point, but every time she closed her eyes she saw the events of the party again. She was vainly hoping that if she became so tired she passed out that maybe she would be too exhausted to dream. After her coffee filled, Adrienne went to the phone in the lounge and dialed the satellite phone Sarah carried. She hadn't heard her kid's voices in days and decided it might cheer her up.

"Hello?" Sarah's voice was like a balm to Adrienne's senses. She slumped in the chair she was sitting in and sighed in relief.

"Hey, Sarah. It's Adrienne."

"Oh my god! Adrienne! Matthew called and told me what happened. Are you alright? How's Heinrich? Jesus, it's good to hear your voice." Adrienne smiled. Sarah was tough as nails, but she could be a little melodramatic.

"Yours too. I'm fine. Rich hasn't woken up yet, and frankly I don't blame him. It was awful, Sarah. I don't know how he even survived."

"Oh, sweetie. He'll be fine, you'll see." Adrienne doubted her words but kept silent.

"He'll be at least partially blind. His left eye is gone. He also has a few broken ribs and some scrapes and bruises. Right now, I'd be happy just to have him wake up." Adrienne knew she was wallowing, and so did Sarah. The difference was, Sarah wasn't going to stand for it.

"Adri, he'll wake up. Matthew already spoke to the surgeon. They said there was no evidence of brain damage. You've treated worse actual injuries here with a third the resources. He'll be fine." Her voice was gentler at the end. After a pause she asked what Adrienne had been hoping for since she caught sight of the phone. "Do you want to talk to the kids?"

"Like crazy. Are they there?"

"Yeah. They've been coming with me after school. Alec sits in my office and does his homework while Julianne draws and bugs him." Adrienne breathed a sigh of relief.

"What have you told them?"

"Just that Rich was hurt and that you wouldn't be home for a little while longer." She nodded even though Sarah couldn't see her.

"Put them on." After a moment Adrienne nearly cried as she heard their voices.

"Mama?" It was Alec.

"I'm here baby. Is your sister with you?"

"Yep. She's here too. Say high to mama, Julie."

"Hi, mommy!"

"Hi, sweetie. Are you being good for Aunt Sarah?" She could almost see the scowl on Alec's little face.

"Of course we are. She lets us sit in her office after school, but we can't go outside and play." To Alec's seven year-old mind, that was the most important thing.

"When you come home, mommy?" Adrienne could hear the tears in Julianne's voice.

"Soon, baby Mama will be home soon, just as soon as Opa Heinrich is feeling a bit better."

"Is he okay?"

"Of course, Alec. He'll be alright. He just needs a lot of rest right now." Adrienne stifled a yawn, but Sarah heard it.

"Alright you two. Your mommy needs to go back to Opa Heinrich. She'll talk to you again soon. Why don't you two go see if Jake will get you a snack?"

"Okay!" Adrienne could hear little feet hitting the floor. "We wuv you, mommy!" Julianne said before Alec pulled her from the room.

"Thank you, Sarah. I know they can be a handful."

"No one ever said taking care of a seven year-old and a four year-old was easy." She chuckled." You take care of yourself, Adri. You're exhausted. Find a bed and fall into it for a few hours at least. You need to keep up your strength." Adrienne sighed. She knew Sarah was right, but she was terrified of what she would see if she closed her eyes. "Adri? Are you still there?"

"Yeah. I'm here Sarah. Take care of the kids. I shouldn't be more than a few more days."

"Take your time. It's not the vacation we wanted you to take, but you need a break, Adri. Take this time with Rich and Petra to relax."

"I will. And, Sarah? Thanks. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now go sleep!" Adrienne hung up and just sat in the chair for a few minutes before making her way back down the hall to Heinrich's room. As much as she hated to admit it, Sarah was right. She needed sleep.

When she returned, though, Heinrich groaned and turned his head to look in her direction. He squinted but it was clear he had no idea who had just entered his room. He couldn't see her. Adrienne sighed in relief that he had finally woken up and sagged down into the chair by his bed.

"They say the discomfort will pass, but I have a feeling they're just trying to make us feel better. Does it hurt?" She asked rather emotionlessly. She was barely hanging on.

"Nein. The pain is not so bad." His voice was hoarse from disuse and he grimaced. She leaned over to press the button for the nurse to come. When she sat back down she took his hand in hers and squeezed it gently. "What happened, Adrienne? I cannot see you. What has happened to my eyes?"

"Do you remember nothing?" Adrienne asked, sincerely hoping the doctors here weren't wrong about the brain damage.

"I remember we were at the fundraiser for your hospital. When was that?"

"Three nights ago." He grimaced, though whether it was in physical or mental discomfort she didn't know. She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"I was giving my speech when a man came up. I think he attacked the security guards. Ist dass richtig?"

"He did. Do you remember what happened next?" It was clear that he did so she didn't press him. "Your eye is completely gone. Whatever he did to it destroyed it." She let that sink in, let him come to terms with it and the shock of the whole incident.

"Do you know why he did it?" Heinrich asked hoarsely after a few minutes. Just then the nurse came in. She checked all his vitals and under Adrienne's instructions administered another dose of pain medication, though Heinrich denied needing it the whole while. After she had gone, promising to send in the doctor soon, Adrienne settled back into her chair.

"It was all part of a theft. He was just one man of a group who broke into your lab and stole some sort of metal. They needed your eye for the security retina scan to get entrance to the lab."

"Did they succeed?"

"Yes." He sighed, suddenly looking very weary and every day his age. That spark of life she so loved was, for once, absent.

"What is troubling you, my dear?" he asked gently. Adrienne hated crying, but the tears she had held back for two days suddenly decided they would no longer be denied.

"I could have lost you. I know how fragile life is better than most, but I never really thought about how little time we might actually have." He chuckled, then winced as he noticed his battered ribs.

"Don't cry, Liebling. You will have to put up with me for a while yet, I think."

"I hope so," she said, smiling for the first time in days. Suddenly serious again she asked, "What was it, Heinrich?" hoping he knew, and hoping he didn't.

"A very rare specimen. We were experimenting with its various properties. It came to earth within a meteorite many years ago. We were just beginning to unlock its potential for stabilizing nuclear reactions."

"What will they do with it?"

"I don't know, Adri. Our findings were just speculation. It was far from being put to any use and even if we were closer, there just wasn't really all that much material to work with."

"Do you know who they might be? Did you recognize the man who attacked you?"

"No, I wish I had." She squeezed his hand again and leaned back in her chair.

"I don't know what his real name is. I almost think I believe what he told me, insane as it was. He said his name was Loki, as in the Norse God. I met him on the gallery before you gave your speech. I knew I should have called security. He practically assaulted me, but he backed off, and after he told me who he was I though he was crazy. We talked for a while, but he didn't touch me or threaten me again. He didn't breathe a word about what he was planning. I'm so sorry, Rich! I had no idea." The tears threatened to brim over again.

"It's alright, Liebling. Calling security would have just ended with more people hurt, perhaps even yourself." She laughed a little hysterically, tears running down her face again. Adrienne would never tell anyone the shameful reason she actually let him get away.

"I swear, half of what I saw that night had to be hallucinations. I can't accept it was real. They apprehended him as we were loading you into the ambulance. The rest of his team got away." They were both silent for some time, not really sure what more to say as Adrienne once more fought to get control of the emotions she usually held so tightly to her. She was not weak, and in her line of work, it was imperative she be able to keep a mask of calm authority when not playing with the children. Anything else could get people killed.

"You should rest," Adrienne finally said. "Petra stepped out, but she should be back soon." They sat in silence for a while longer before the doctor came in. He spoke to Heinrich about the damage to his eye and ribs and the plan for his recovery. He also did an evaluation to check his memory to rule out any brain damage. After what felt like ages he left them alone again.

"The Polizei have been told to stop looking into both the events at the fundraiser and your lab. There is some kind of military organization that's taken over."

"S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Yes. They have Loki. How did you know?"

"It doesn't matter. There is nothing we can do now. I think I shall go back to sleep." He lay down and closed his good eye abruptly, keeping hold of her hand and leaving her with more questions than she had before. _Who is this S.H.I.E.L.D.? What have you gotten yourself wrapped up in, old man?_

Loki flew back to Stark Tower as fast as he could on the Chitauri sled he was riding. He was rapidly moving between extreme anger and total despair, never settling on one long enough for it to take over. He knew what had to happen in the next few minutes, but he certainly didn't have to like it.

After it had become apparent what the Mad Titan was about, Loki knew he could not let his plans actually succeed. He had rapidly gone about pushing and pulling the strings behind his web of chaos in an attempt to make sure no one suspected him of intentionally throwing this battle in favor of the stupid Midgardians, especially the Titan. It was bad enough the Titan was going to torture him for failing, if he ever got his hands on Loki, but if the Titan even suspected he had betrayed them, Loki would find himself very painfully without a life-force. He was quite furious that the Titan thought he Loki, God of Lies and Chaos, could possibly be manipulated and controlled as little more than a puppet. On the other hand, he was rapidly falling into a state of depression at the thought that he would once again be giving up the throne of a realm in apparent defeat by none other than his once-brother. This time though, he feared his punishment would be rather longer than before, and would likely include retribution for that previous failure to take the throne of Asgard.

As he neared Stark Tower, Loki saw Hawkeye taking aim at him. Despite everything, he smirked as he caught the arrow. If Loki didn't have the reflexes of a god, he knew that arrow would have killed him. Then it exploded, throwing him from the Chitauri sled he was riding and onto the observation deck of Stark Tower, thoroughly pissing him off. As he righted himself, Loki saw that great hulking beast out of the corner of his eye, and braced himself for impact. _Right on time_, he thought, as the beast grabbed him and threw him through the window of Stark's observation deck. It took every ounce of control he had to resist fighting back against the green monster. _This must happen_, he repeated the litany to himself over, and over again.

"Enough!" Loki shouted at the beast before him, knowing exactly what to say to provoke him. "You are all of you, beneath me!" He threw as much of his anger and despair into that statement as he could. "I am a God, you dull creature," Loki said with utter disdain. "And I will not be bullied by…" He was cut off as the Hulk grabbed him by the leg and proceeded to pound him into Stark's floor, repeatedly. Finally satisfied, he left Loki where he lay in stunned and wondering pain, muttering "puny god," as he walked outside.

Adrienne stared in mute horror at the television screen in the hospital lounge as she watched the destruction of Manhattan. She couldn't identify the alien creatures she saw attacking, which didn't really surprise her since the seemed to be coming out of some kind of wormhole in the sky over by the Empire State building, which in itself was a frightening thought. Her mind was having less trouble coming to terms with yet another reality shifting paradigm that she thought it should, but there was nothing she could do about that. She fleetingly thought of the stupidity of news casters in staying in disaster zones as the disaster happened, but she had to admit, that was sort of what she was doing with her hospital. It was in the middle of a war zone, though which one sort of shifted as they day changed. Every time one war ended another started, seemingly overnight.

Her over-taxed brain took another blow as she recognized one of the figures flying by on one of the enemy aircraft. It was Loki in all his gold and green armor from outside the museum a week ago. Somehow she doubted he was trying to reign in the destruction. Adrienne was ashamed to admit to herself just how gorgeous he was, like a vengeful god riding through a corpse riddled battlefield, the gold of his armor and horns gleaming in the sunlight. She was well aware of just how twisted her attraction to him was, but couldn't bring herself to care. It was like the man had stepped out of the pages of one of the novels she read in what little free time she had. Adrienne knew it was despicable, but that one glimpse had brought back all her memories of the heat and longing he had stirred within her at the fundraiser, the desire.

The memory of what he did to Heinrich kicked her logical brain back into control so fast Adrienne thought she had whiplash. She was furious at this dangerous, powerful, sinfully alluring man. She was furious at what he did to her body and her judgment, and she was furious he made her so afraid. Still, some part of her, a part that was quickly silenced, wondered just how very interesting it would be to really _know_ a man like that. Adrienne couldn't afford to entertain thoughts like that though. She had two kids, and getting involved with dangerous men was the last thing she could afford to do.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: I know this is a day late, but I sort of forgot about it yesterday. I've pretty much given up on formatting this. When I copy it into the doc editor, half of it stays formatted and the other half doesn't, so I'm sorry. Next up, the standard disclaimer applies: if it looks/sounds like Marvel, it probably is and I take no credit for it. Enjoy

Adrienne woke up to the sounds of birds chirping outside the window and momentarily didn't recognize the room she lay in. It was cold; much colder than her house in Mali. This place wasn't air-conditioned, but it was certainly much cooler than the arid desert surrounding her village. She stretched and rolled onto her side then froze as she saw the picture of her with Rich and Petra that sat on the dresser. _Heinrich._ The picture brought the whole of the last three weeks back to the forefront of her mind. "Some vacation this turned out to be," she whispered to the otherwise empty bedroom. The fundraiser had gone down the drain, Rich had been injured and needed nearly constant care from her and Petra, and lately she was feeling decidedly crappy and increasingly paranoid. Everywhere Adrienne went she felt like she was being watched, and twice now she thought she had seen _his _reflection standing behind hers in shop windows. Both times she had turned around to find there was no one there. At the very best it was disconcerting, but most of the time it was exhausting to continually look over her shoulder; to be constantly afraid _he _would come find her. It was irrational and ridiculous, and Adrienne berated herself for succumbing to such fears. She was very confident in the knowledge that he had been captured; they had been assured such by a representative of S.H.I.E.L.D. Even so, she couldn't shake these feelings.

After lying in bed for a while longer Adrienne drug herself to the shower. Today she would pack up her things and prepare to go home. She needed to get back to her kids and her work. Shopping therapy really wasn't her thing no matter how often Petra insisted she get out of the house for a breather. The hot water worked the muscles in her back, and slowly Adrienne relaxed. Everything would be alright when she returned home. Later, as she drank her coffee on the back deck, Heinrich found her. He still looked pretty gruesome with the gauze eye-patch, but he didn't stumble when he walked or grip his ribs hardly at all. He took the seat next to hers and poured himself a coffee. They sat in silence for a time just enjoying each other's presence and the birds that flitted around the garden.

"Is there nothing I can say that will make you stay a little longer?" _Jumped right to the point, didn't we? _Adrienne thought wryly. The old man never did mince words. She sighed and looked out at the garden.

"I already feel like I've stayed too long. You know I never could handle doing nothing."

"I remember. You are quite possibly a worse patient than I." The corner of her mouth turned up slightly. The last time she had been sick she had tried to ignore it and keep working until she had nearly passed out from exhaustion. Rich had almost had to physically restrain her just so she could recover.

"I need to go home, Rich. I need to see my kids."

"You know you will always have a home here, Adrienne. Promise me you will come visit again soon. If anything, this experience has given me a new appreciation for how short life is. I want to be able to see my grandchildren a few more times before I die." Adrienne glanced at him sideways and shook her head. Alex and Julianne weren't his grandchildren by blood, but he was the closest thing to a father Adrienne had known, so it was an ample description. The kids had always called him _Opa_, German for grandfather, and Petra _Oma_, grandmother. That was who they were, and Adrienne couldn't deny them that joy.

"Now you make me feel guilty for not coming. You're not going anywhere anytime soon."

"I am an old man, Adrienne. I won't be here forever." She didn't want to think about that, but he had a point.

"How about Christmas? We haven't had a Christmas together since Julianne was born." He smiled and nodded, taking a drink of his coffee.

"I would like that very much."

"Alright then." Adrienne finished her coffee and made to get up.

"When does your flight leave?" he asked, grasping her wrist.

"Tomorrow afternoon. Two o'clock."

"We will take you to the airport. We'd like to see you off." Adrienne didn't argue, so Heinrich released her. She went back inside to her room to read, but quickly found that she couldn't keep her mind off _him._ Every man in each of her novels reminded her of him, became him in her mind's eye, and she became the woman. She tried to catch up on some readings in medical journals, but that didn't help either. She finally gave up and tried to take a nap. She should have known her mind wouldn't give up that easily. Her dreams were filled with him- lovely scenes of the two of them in her books, and horrific nightmares inspired by the fundraiser.

Adrienne jerked awake hours later, breathing hard and covered in sweat. The last dream was so vivid she hadn't thought she was dreaming. _I need help!_ She thought before going to get cleaned up for dinner. It dragged against all her notions of strength and pride, but she admitted that she was going to have to find a counselor or a therapist or something, even if it meant she had to drive across the desert to a larger city. She would do it, because this, whatever "this" was, absolutely had to stop!

Loki stared morosely at the wall of his cell. It had been a little longer than a Midgardian month since the attack on Manhattan and no one seemed to be in much of a hurry to send him and Thor back to Asgard. He was certainly not complaining, but he was bored. In that time, what injuries he had healed quickly, and Thor had come nearly every day to try and pry information out of him about the Chitauri and to try to "convince Loki of his love." For the first week Loki had enjoyed toying with Thor. Then he grew bored of that, for in all honesty the great oaf had not come up with a new reaction to Loki's taunts in centuries. Eventually, just to get Thor to leave him alone, Loki had told him an extremely edited version of events from the time after he had fallen into the void. After another week Thor decided he was not going to get any more information, but the idiot still came to visit every day. He would pace and talk about whatever came to his mind, completely oblivious the fact that Loki was studiously ignoring him. To his unending annoyance, most of the rest of the Avengers came to visit as well. Sometimes alone and sometimes in pairs, but at least one came every day. Loki was not sure what they were doing since most of the time they either ignored him or just stared at him, particularly in the case of The Widow. His plan had gone off without a problem, no one suspecting he had any part in the "positive" outcome. It was despicable, but no matter how he despised his once-brother and the Allfather for their betrayals, all he really wanted was their attention and acknowledgment that he was every bit as worthy of the throne as Thor, that he wasn't always second best. Loki could not stomach the idea of the destruction of Asgard. That agent who had tried to prevent his escape from the flying ship was absolutely correct—Loki lacked conviction. It almost bothered Loki that such an insightful human had died at his hands. Almost.

Loki had spent the entirety of the last two weeks doing little more that staring at the various walls outside his glass cell with nothing more to entertain himself than his thoughts and what little magic he could do with his hands bound. He had long since ceased to notice the comings and goings of the Avengers. Now that he was free of the Titan's control, Loki could finally see clearly again—and all he felt was shame and disgust at some of the horrible acts he had committed. _How have I fallen so far?_ Loki wondered miserably. He would have to suffer the pain and humiliation of this defeat, this surrender in disguise. He doubted anyone would believe him if he told the whole truth anyway, so he was not even going to bother wasting his valuable breath. For these reasons, and many Loki could as of yet not admit to himself, he was going willingly to his punishment. Such was the curse of his silver tongue.

Loki closed his eyes and sought the strings of seiðr deep inside him. His hands could still manage the motions of the spell to send him to the astral plane, bound as they were, but it was more difficult than he would have liked. First he sought his mother. He still felt the large stone of guilt over disappointing her. She sat in her private garden on Asgard, starring sadly at the miniature waterfall at its center. She must have sensed his presence because she turned to look at him, but he shifted away, his name nothing more than a whisper on her lips following behind him. Next he sought the Woman. He refused to say her name. To even think it, hurt him more than he wanted to admit, even to himself. She had done something to him, some magic; she must have. That was the only reason he could fathom that would cause him to feel so much guilt and anger over hurting her.

Over the weeks he had occasionally slipped into the astral plane to watch her. He was not particularly sure why other than to punish himself. Her glorious visage inspired something akin to rage within him, though not as fierce. Loki thought this rage was directed at the Woman for what she had done to him, the weakness she made him feel. This was likely a lie; however, it held true in his mind. She had looked tired and frightened the last two times he had seen her, and while it did not detract from her beauty in the least, he knew it was his fault. She had seen him at least once, he knew, so he had stayed away for a while. For some reason, even though he was so angry at her for causing him to feel these weak, human emotions, he still did not like the idea that he was causing her pain, even if she could not see him.

When he finally found her, it was not where he might have expected her to be, particularly not after seeing her in all her fierce splendor at the gala in Germany almost six weeks before and seeing her around a large modern city in the following weeks. She was fast asleep in some sort of cottage; a tiny place, only three rooms, made, it seemed, of mud with thatch reeds for a roof. It didn't seem she needed much more space though. The furnishing was rather sparse, but everything had a purpose, and somehow it still felt cozy, homey. There was an abundance of fabric in many colors and patterns draped about the room—hanging upon the walls, drooping from the ceiling, covering the windows. It was odd, but the linen made the little room almost beautiful. He drew closer to her bed and decided it must be hot wherever she was. Sweat had gathered between her shoulder blades and ran in rivulets down her beautiful face. In the astral plane, he could only interact with her environment through sight, sound, and the illusion of touch. A quiet whimper caught Loki's attention. He walked to the other side of her bed and realized she was not alone in it. Curled up beside her were two small children, a girl and a boy. The resemblance to the Woman was uncanny. They were just as beautiful as their mother.

Loki did not know what to do with the swell of emotion that bubbled up inside of him at the image. He had always loved children, though he was not allowed to see his own often. They were so innocent and in love with life, their minds like bright lights shining through storms of ignorance and hate that swirled and eddied between the citizens of the realms—_all_ the realms. The fact that she so obviously loved her children did not surprise him; he had heard it in her voice when she spoke of telling them the myths about his people. It did, however, make him feel all the worse about what he had done to her, how he had hurt her, and how she now despised him, and all that much angrier for the mere existence of the emotions within him. His memory flashed to the look of fear and horror he had seen on her face before she entered the mortal vehicle with the man whose eye he had taken, her friend.

Loki rose and turned away from the bed, unable to cope with the disgust he felt with himself. His mother and this woman who really did not know much about him at all had both treated him with a measure of kindness and respect that no other had gifted him with. He had repaid them both with violence and suffering, and for that he would not, could not, allow himself to be at peace. He would not subject himself to this anymore today. There was only so much one could feel at one time before they broke down completely, and Loki had no intention of ever breaking—especially not for her.

Three weeks later Loki found himself before the Allfather "answering for his crimes."

"Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?" Loki was pleased to see his mother. Odin, on the other hand, did not elicit the same feeling.

"Don't make this any worse, Loki." _So that's how this will play out,_ Loki thought. _At least I know it _can_ get worse. Maybe it should…_

"Define worse." Frigga, while pleased to see her son alive and in one piece, was not pleased about the circumstances surrounding his return. It also displeased her very much that he refused to let go of his façade, of his mask. She could see that something had changed, that much was obvious. His words were not so sharp, his nonchalance more forced. She could see the strands of seiðr woven so subtly, so elegantly, so impenetrably about him. The image before her was not truly Loki, and she was quite sure of two things: that Loki was trying to hide something from her, and that Odin was completely unaware of any of her observations. He would proceed with the course of action he had decided upon, and Loki did not seem to be of a mind to dissuade him from it.

"Enough! I will speak to the prisoner alone," Odin said, commanding the room. Frigga looked at her husband, but he did not look at her. Resigning herself to the fact that she was going to have to untangle this mess slowly, she took one last long look at her son before leaving him to face Odin's punishment.

Loki watched his mother leave the hall. He knew what she had seen and that it had displeased her. No doubt the truth would have displeased her more, but it would have also given her hope as much as sadness, a hope he could not allow to take root. _She would nurture that hope within herself,_ _but my failure would be the pass of the knife that finally broke the last threads of her faith in me._

Weeks later, as he grew accustomed to the idea of living in the Asgardian version of a glass box, Loki once again sought out the Woman. She slept at her desk, as he had found her so many times before. He had begun to enter her dreams through the astral plane some weeks past. They were a place in which he could let out many of his frustrations as well as seek answers to his many questions about this woman. It had, at first proved to be a challenge to achieve both of these goals. Her dreams, or dream, as it were, consumed her and further infuriated him. It was like being inside some demented loop of time. Every night she re-lived the gala in her dreams. The part of him that truly enjoyed causing chaos was somewhat pleased by that, as was the part that—much like a preening youth—was pleased she was dreaming of him.

After less than a week, he grew bored of that, so he began to manipulate the dream. Loki quickly realized he had grossly underestimated the strength of her subconscious. He could not pry into her other memories no matter how hard he tried. He decided distracting her was the best course of action. The first thing that came to mind was to replace her friend with her. Perhaps if she was busy trying to fend off an attempt to take her eye, she would not be so able to confine him to this one memory. After almost a week of attempting that, Loki came to the conclusion that not only was this method of inception _not_ having the desired effect, it was becoming increasingly difficult for him to objectively harm her. He found that harming her did not really give him any pleasure, even if it was only in a dream. _It never really has, has it?_

Upon realizing this, Loki had left her alone for a time. He had much to think about. Visits from his mother were not helping his guilty conscience either. She believed he was lying to himself, had said as much on more than one occasion. He knew she was correct, but still he could not put into words what his mind had discovered.

Today he decided to enter her dream once more. He didn't exactly have a plan, a first for sure, but the need to _do_ something was overpowering. Upon entering the dream, Loki saw that even though he no longer manipulated the dream, it remained in the same loop he had forced upon her. The look of utter glee on the face of his character as he held the Woman to the table horrified him.

"What have I done?" he whispered. Abruptly, before his counter self could proceed with its torture, Loki created an illusion of the first place that came to mind. She had seemed comfortable here, safe. _I do believe that is how homes are supposed to feel,_ he thought as she looked around. Seeming satisfied that she was no longer held to a table by a madman, the Woman slumped against her bed and began to cry with her head in her hands. It was such a human action, and filled with so much pain and relief, Loki could only watch, his feet firmly rooted to the floor and his eyes on her. After a time, she rose and stumbled to another room, completely oblivious to his presence. Loki followed quietly, curious as to what she would do. He found her in the largest room spooning a brown powdery substance into a cup. She added steaming water and a splash of amber liquid from a glass bottle. Upon closer inspection, he found it to be strong alcohol called 'whiskey.' She drank the entire cup before gasping and putting the mug in the sink.

"I have to stop sleeping. This is ridiculous." She shook her head and turned around. When she saw Loki she froze and backed up into the counter. "You son-of-a-bitch. What the hell are you doing in my house?" Without further preamble she launched herself at Loki, fists swinging. Loki was so surprised at her reaction she actually connected with his jaw and nose twice before he managed to get ahold of her wrists. "Let go of me! You asshole! Get your filthy hands off me!"

"I am not here to harm you. I am…" Adrienne drove her knee up into Loki's thigh and twisted out of his grasp. She lunged back towards the counter and searched for the knife she usually kept there. It was nowhere to be found, but her heavy ceramic coffee mug was still in the sink. She grabbed it and held it ready to bash into his head if he came any closer.

"The hell you aren't. What else would you be here for?" Loki gripped his thigh and raised his other hand in supplication.

"Woman! I am not here to harm you! I am not even truly 'here.' Neither are you." That made Adrienne pause.

"What do you mean? Why should I even believe a word that comes out of your mouth? You're the god of lies aren't you?" Loki grimaced. It seemed that particular title was coming around to bite him lately. "And I do have a name. Surely you can't have forgotten it."

"At this rate they are going to have to remove my title of 'silver tongue' as well as imprison me," Loki said dismally under his breath. Louder he addressed Adrienne, "You never woke up. This is merely a dream. You are still blissfully asleep at your desk, or not so blissfully as the case may be." Adrienne narrowed her eyes and looked around the room searching for a way around him. Loki, seeing this, sighed and moved himself to the opposite wall so the entire room was between them. He may have been endlessly frustrated with the Woman, but if giving her space was going to allow him to finish his conversation, so be it.

"How did you…? Nevermind." Adrienne folded her arms across her chest. "So, I'm asleep? You're in my mind?" Loki inclined his head.

"I am in it, not of it." Adrienne narrowed her eyes again at that.

"Why are you here?"

"In truth, I do not know, a rarity to be sure."

"That's rich, coming from you."

"However, at the moment I feel rather inclined to apologize for my poor manners." Adrienne stared at him mutely for a moment before breaking out in laughter. It was oddly reminiscent of their conversation at the gala.

"Is this some new kind of torture you've concocted? Some new trick? You must not be as smart as you think you are if for one second you thought I was going to fall for that." Loki watched her curiously. He had not really given any thought to the matter, another sign that he was probably actually going insane; however, while he had not exactly foreseen her violent reaction, the Woman—_Adrienne_ he conceded—was much stronger than her small frame suggested.

"You are different," he said simply. "At first, I thought you were some new enchantress sent by Odin to contain me. Certainly you had some great magic that you could keep me from my task that night." Loki began to pace along the wall, not looking at Adrienne as he spoke. "I hated you so deeply, I raged against you and what you had done to me. So I watched you, and searched your dreams for the answers I sought. There were no answers to be found, though. You are as ever, a mystery to me." He finally looked at her again. "Perhaps, that is all the answer I need." She was just as stunning here as in the waking world, just as fierce, just as beautiful. Her expression was also just as guarded and closed as it had been the last time Loki had stood before her. "I see by your expression that today you will not grant me what I seek."

"And what is that?" Adrienne said venomously.

"Forgiveness," Loki said quietly before leaving the dream and returning to his cell.

Loki allowed every emotion he held firmly locked in the recesses of his mind to rage through him. All the pain, loss, guilt, regret and fear- these he understood, accepted. The others were so foreign to him he could hardly even remember their names- hope, trust, safety, kindness. There was something else there, but Loki could not recognize it at all, for he was not sure he had ever felt such a thing. It was powerful and pure and bore a remarkable resemblance to hate, but it was not. _Is this love? Is this that which I have disdained for so long?_ Loki released it all through one powerful surge of magic. It was probably a good thing there was not more than a few items in the cell because what _was_ there was blown around the small room with tremendous force. The lights flickered, and the inhabitants of the surrounding cells moved as far from his as they could. The magic based walls of the cell held, though, and when everything had settled, Loki righted the bed and fell into it. He hadn't slept so deeply in years.

Days had passed, weeks. Adrienne was slowly able to relax and stop looking over her shoulder. She wasn't healed, not by any stretch of the imagination, but she was getting better. The hospital was blissfully quiet for the first time in a long time so she was taking the opportunity to get caught up on paperwork. They didn't charge their patients in the traditional sense since most of them had nothing to pay with, but she still had to log the inventory of supplies and make sure everything was in order with the charity funds. Sarah had brought her a cup of coffee a few hours previously but Adrienne had barely touched it. She hadn't touched her lunch either. Objectively she knew she had to eat; it was a basic necessity of life, but most days Adrienne had no appetite whatsoever. A sharply clinical part of her knew this loss of appetite was related to her PTSD, but she couldn't bring herself to do anything about it.

Every week, Adrienne set up the satellite system and used the webcam on her computer to call her therapist. They would talk and try to work through the nightmares and paranoia still haunting Adrienne. It helped, she knew it did, but some days it just didn't seem to matter. The days she caught a glimpse of _him_ were the worst. She would lock her office door and curl up on the couch and cry. Her pride hated the crying, but no matter what she tried to tell herself, she couldn't stop. The therapist said it would get better, that she'd stop seeing him as her mind healed. Adrienne seriously doubted that. _I will see that man's face in my mind until the day I die,_ she thought bitterly.

_"How do I stop seeing someone who is part of the fabric of my mind?" she had asked once a few weeks past._

_"Your mind will heal, Adrienne. As it does, he will no longer be a part of that fabric."_

_"Emma, he's in my dreams. I drink so much coffee during the day that I should probably overdose on caffeine, but instead of sleeping at night, now I'm falling asleep during the day when I just can't stay awake any longer."_

_"How long are you staying awake?"_

_"I think the longest I've made it is about 72 hours. Sometimes less, sometimes a little more."_

_"I don't need to tell you that can't continue. Your body can't take the strain for long." Adrienne nodded. "Tell me more about these dreams. Are they all the same?"_

_"No."_

_"'No.' That's it? Come on, Adrienne. You have to tell me more than that." Dr. Emma Blake sighed and shook her head when Adrienne didn't continue. "I thought we were past this Adrienne. It's been almost four months since the attack."_

_"I know. This isn't easy though. The dreams. At first they were of that night. It was always the same. Later, they started to change. Instead of…Loki… attacking Rich, he started attacking me. He would say things, horrible things. It was like he was trying to cause as much pain as possible. I would wake up with the worst headaches, like someone had been pounding on my brain."_

_"Go on, Adrienne. Do you still have this dream?" Adrienne shook her head and wiped the tears from her cheeks._

_"No. About a month ago, that dream stopped."_

_"There is a new one? Or more than one?"_

_"Yes. Emma, I'm so frightened sometimes. It's like he's really there in my mind, not just me projecting a memory. I don't even know I'm dreaming until he tells me I am, or I wake up. At first, I thought I was in my house, then in another I thought I was in some kind of throne room. I've been to so many places in those dreams."_

_"Are you still being hurt?" Adrienne was stubbornly silent as she stared out the window. "Adrienne? You know I can't help you if you don't talk to me."_

_"He hasn't hurt me again. He just asks for forgiveness. I become aware of my surroundings and I see him. He apologizes then he asks for my forgiveness."_

_"What does he apologize for?"_

_"What do you think, Emma?"_

_"I don't know. It could be any number of things." Adrienne shot her therapist a condescending look then rolled her eyes._

_"Fine! He apologizes for hurting me, for frightening me, and occasionally for his bad manners."_

_"I take it, you haven't granted your forgiveness."_

_"No. As soon as I say I won't he nods and I wake up. I won't forgive him, Emma. Not in this lifetime."_

_"You know he's not really in your mind, Adrienne. Have you considered he is a manifestation of your subconscious?" Adrienne looked at the computer screen blankly. "Alright. What if your subconscious is trying to prompt you to forgive Loki? Maybe it's telling you this is how you yourself will begin to heal?" Adrienne laughed._

_"Seriously? You think my subconscious is sending me weird dreams in an effort to force my forgiveness of him? That's insane?"_

_"Is it?" Adrienne had no response to that. It really wasn't that crazy. She just didn't want to admit it. "I want you to do two things for me this week. First, start limiting yourself to 4 cups of coffee a day and at least a liter of water. Next, think about what I've said. Try forgiving the Loki in your dreams. It may allow you to rest easier. Same time next week?" Adrienne nodded and Emma cut off the connection._

The sound of children laughing drifted through the windows breaking through Adrienne's silent reverie. She smiled when she saw Alec and Julianne playing with the children outside. They were so innocent, so sweet. Alec worried sometimes; he could tell something was wrong with his mum, but he would just climb up on her lap and give her a hug. "It'll be okay mommy. I promise." Those few words would always brighten her day, no matter how dark it had been before. Adrienne had tried reducing her coffee intake, but she hadn't forgiven Loki yet. She didn't think that was going to be possible.

"Oh for the love of God! I'm not getting anything done today," Adrienne groaned as she rose from behind her desk. It was far too beautiful a day to be cooped up inside. Moments later she was outside in the courtyard kicking the ball around with the kids. She was so focused on them she didn't see the man in the shadowy corner of the yard smile sadly as he gazed at her.

Late that night, Loki shifted into Adrienne's house. He stopped at the small room next to hers to find her son, Alec, fast asleep. A second bed had been moved into Adrienne's room, but it sat empty, the covers strewn about. Instead, the little girl was curled up in Adrienne's arms. He watched them a moment before entering Adrienne's dreams. Tonight he wove together an image of his old chambers in Asgard, complete with the balcony overlooking the city. He found Adrienne there and situated himself in the opposite corner.

"Where are we? I don't think I've ever seen something so beautiful." Loki frowned, but did not voice his objections.

"It is a rather enjoyable view." After a moment, Loki watched her a touch warily. "Are you going to attack me tonight? It is not that dislike our little sparring sessions just that… well, I do." Adrienne smirked a little.

"I haven't decided yet. Does your pride dislike being injured by a woman?"

"You cannot truly injure me here, Adrienne. You must know that by now."

"Mhm. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy trying." Loki frowned and opened his mouth to answer, but Adrienne continued. "You said my name."

"What?"

"You called me by my name. Tired of saying 'woman?'"

"I suppose I did. Perhaps I have merely accepted that you are worthy of my respect." Adrienne turned to face him. "Perhaps you are more than just a title, even one such as 'the Woman.'" Adrienne turned away again.

"Where are we?" Loki sighed and looked back out over the city.

"What you see before you is the view I have had from my chambers since I moved into them from the nursery. This is Asgard." Adrienne's eyes widened.

"You brought me to your home? To your room?"

"We are as of yet still outside." Adrienne rolled her eyes.

"It's a beautiful place."

"From here, yes. Up close, I think you'll find the golden city does not shine quite as brightly."

"They never do, do they?" They looked out in silence for a time, the green and gold curtains behind them blowing in the wind. "You know I won't forgive you," Adrienne said quietly after a time. "My shrink thinks I should, that after more than five months you're a figment of my subconscious trying to force me to heal. Maybe you are, maybe you aren't. Either way, I cannot forgive you for what you did." Loki nodded.

"I had thought as much when you mentioned enjoying attacking me."

"Will I wake up now?"

"Not if you do not wish to. You may stay here and rest as long as you like. You should know, my command of your dream only extends to these chambers. If pass through the doors, your sleeping mind will take over again." Adrienne nodded and Loki vanished. He looked down at her sleeping form a moment more. In many ways tonight was a step forward—a small one, but a step nonetheless.

"Rest easy, Adrienne. Perhaps another night I will find what I seek."

A small hand reached out for him as he made to leave, but it passed through him since he was little more than an image here. He looked back, surprised to see a beautiful pair of golden eyes ringed in blue staring up at him in awe, not a shadow of fear in their depths. It took him a moment to realize it was not Adrienne's eyes he looked into, but those of her daughter. He would swear they were exactly the same.

"Are you a angel? Were you sen to watch ofer us?" Her quiet voice was no more than a whisper on the breeze. Loki really had no response to her question. He was certainly not one of the angels from the Christian religion- far from it. Nevertheless, he knelt down by the bed and returned her gaze.

"No, little one, I am not." She frowned at him and shook her head.

"You pwetty enough to be a angel." He smiled. She was so pure, so honest and without guile.

"I am not an angel, little one."

"My mommy says we all has a gardwian angel who watch us while we sleeps."

"Your mother is a smart lady. I am not an angel. I am, however, here to protect you." He paused as he recognized that for the truth it was.

"An Awec and mommy too?" She looked up at him as though it was the most important question in the world, and to her child's heart, it probably was.

"Yes, your mother and your brother too."

"Okay." She smiled brightly, and it reminded him so much of _her_ smile, the smile he was unlikely to see on her face again—not whilst looking at him at any rate—that his chest ached. He smiled sadly at her. "Why you cwying?" Loki reached up to touch his cheek. When he pulled his hand away he saw the silver shine of tears glistening on his fingers.

"I do not know, little one." And truly, he did not. The combination of feelings roiling inside him was too alien for him to even comprehend.

"Julianne?" a voice like chimes on a spring morning whispered into the dark. Loki pressed his fingers to his lips in a motion for her to be quiet even as he motioned the spell to make him invisible. "Who are you talking to, baby?"

"Our gardwian angel, mommy."

"You saw an angel, sweetie?"

"Uh-huh. He was jus here. He say he weren a angle, but he were pwetty just like you say angels are, and he say he here to pwotec us."

"That's great, baby. You can tell mommy all about him in the morning. Go back to sleep, sweetie." She kissed her daughter's head and they both lay back down. Loki watched a moment more before returning to his own body. He realized as he rolled over to stare at another wall of his cell that there were silent tears still running down his cheeks.

"I will do my best, child, to protect you, and one day maybe I'll earn your mother's forgiveness." Loki hoped dearly he would not be foresworn; that he could keep this one promise. Maybe one day he would be able to stand proudly before them like a true prince of Asgard.

Notes: 1. Julianne is about three years old, so I spelled everything as phonetically as I could understanding that this is how I often here my three year-old students speak.

2. I am using the Loki comic mythology to explain Loki's children, not the norse, simply because it's a hell of a lot easier to work with than the serpent, horse, and wolf.


End file.
